Teenagers. Why?
November 6, 2008
Moody. Smelly. Aggressive. Stupid.
Why the blithering flip do we need teenagers? They just crowd up the place. Make it smell and talk to you in exactly the way that makes you want to punch them square in their pointless pouting faces.
Like spoiled toddlers in hulking great adult bodies they slouch through our world snarling and yelping and smelling (1). And if that isn’t enough, they are the target audience for Big Brother so it’s their fucking fault we have to watch a bunch of belching empty idiots and frightening wannabe attention hungry roaring machines on our tellies every year.
I’ve always harboured a fear of depression and the unbalancing of the chemistry in my noodle that would stop me thinking in more or less straight lines. I’ve always imagined that the dark circles depressed people think in would be a truly hellish way to live. Never knowing calm and only ever feeling the sort of self loathing only really common to serial killers and the Welsh. They are haunted people loose in a world they can not fully interact with.
Well that’s how teenagers live every single day. Spouting sudden outbursts of the most puerile drivel and morally contradictory nonsense, they explode with the hormone driven mood storms that blast across their world and drag in everyone within bellowing/screaming range. Blessed with bodies their minds are spectacularly ill-equipped to deal with they would either start a fight with, or fuck the brains out of, a hat stand if the mood took them.
Living with them is the sort of joy normally only acquired by laying face down in a tramp’s used breakfast whilst being punched in the kidneys by a violent, foul mouthed baby.
But working with them is even worse.
Teenagers at work are idiots of the highest order. But you can’t hit them (3). You just have to put up with their banal drivel and sex-powered thinking. Their rudeness. Their endless yabbering about social lives as complicated as they are pointless. Their smelly, gross bodily habits. Christ I hate working with teenagers. I now feel so sorry for the half dozen bosses I had in my teen years.
But not as sorry as I feel for me having to work with them now.
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(1) Maybe they are zombies O_o
(2) Or PMS – that seems to be something akin to insanity.
(3) It’s political correctness gone mad I tells ye!
